Tag: gay

The Penis Elegies: The Seventh Elegy

I know not what I am now.
I know not what I could be.
I know not what I should be.

All I know is the lack of decency according to the common man’s principles. 
All I know is the decadence of my overpowering urges that take hold and strangle me.
All I know is the smell of musk that wafts from your pits, your sack, your every pore.
All  I know is the desperate need to hide in the shadows to pursue the forbidden fruit that is my sex, that is your flesh, that I have been told no, no, no for so long.
All I know is the games I play that exist to give birth to a confidence no real person can carry.

I know nothing of love songs
Just lust songs
My swan songs to the world.

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The Penis Elegies: The Sixth Elegy

Rest it upon my shoulder for my conscience is missing
Let it crawl from the depths of hell to the roof of my mouth
Breathe it down into my lungs so I may know new life
So this wellspring of carnal knowledge may be imbibed 
For unsentimental education is the most important thing
Not false prophets or paltry illusions we give these bedroom pedestrians.

The cock is a symbol of liberating iconography
It is the flag which I will wave proudly
With framed posters hanging from my bedroom walls.

The cock touches my tainted soul
It transcends simple sins
Lingering like the fondest of mischievous memories.

The cock is a wonder 
Full of suck ever-extending bliss
Something truly glorious to behold.

Our bodies will be a battlefield
The only death being La Petit mort. 

The Penis Elegies: The Fifth Elegy

I took you in my hand – you, your penis. 
Swallowed whole this turgid organ filled with stoic exuberance
Filled with vigorous, pumping ecstasy.

I took you in my hand – you, your penis. 
Thought how honest it was
Free from mankind’s distorted nature.

I took you in my hand – your, your penis. 
Softness turned hardness turned softness again
Fickle like my heart’s desires.

I took you in my hand not knowing
How much hurt you would cause when you let go
When you left me an empty shell
A flaccid yolk splattered like a blood stain
Melted like warm flesh across the pavement.

The Penis Elegies: The Fourth Elegy

They sought me out, the tarnished one
The one who fucked freely
The one who enjoyed the taste of life’s sweet nectar (cum)
The one who shamelessly spread his legs for accommodating strangers.

I am hung from the rooftops 
I am fed to the dogs
I am burnt at the stake
But I am no killer, no vermin, no witch.
Not a charmer or madonna
Not a player or whore
I am just a man with longings and yearnings
With lusts and deep desires.

You should never fall for a cock
Only beautiful, baby blue eyes.

You should never fall for a cock
Only chiseled jaws carved from marble.

You should never fall for a cock 
Only voices, deep and cavernous.

Didn’t you know?
To put a gun in another man’s mouth and pull the trigger in the name 
Of war is bravery.
To put a cock in another man’s mouth and shoot your load in the name
Of love is deviancy.

A man should never love a cock
But I love cock and I love you.

The Penis Elegies: The Third Elegy

This dripping tends to leave me with a tendency
Filled with hopeful histrionics that make sense of nothing.

A pearl-white necklace worth little more than spit or piss
Covers my face with a glaze of broken desire.

Disappointment washes over me more than I can bear
When you fuck me like you care.
Like I’m some sort of virgin school girl.
Like I’m some sort of innocent lamb.
Like I’m some sort of Disney princess.

I need you more when you disgrace me
With affection that resembles a heart
Shaped like a loaded pistol.

The Penis Elegies: The Second Elegy

I saw you struggle to contain it
Within the seams of your dirty jeans. 
This was the charming of the snake.

I saw you struggle to tame it
My ass was both carrot and stick.
This was the breeding of the horse.

I saw you struggle to explain it
As your seed exploded past my face.
This was the flapping of the dove.

The Penis Elegies: The First Elegy

Your phallus, 
So stout in its erectness,
A statue of greatness,
Plants a warmth inside my lower depths.

Your shaft,
A willing member of our union,
Free of scruples and neurosis,
Acts on the purest animal lust, not love.

Your meat,
Too proud in its prime, 
Stands free, above all other meagre offerings,
Takes what it wants without hesitation.

What Happened to Queer Cinema?

AnotherGayMovie

Somewhere along the line, after the shift towards mainstream gay acceptance, queerness in cinema died. Queer in the truest sense, not just films with gay characters, but unabashedly gay characters who challenge the status quo.

What do I mean I say “queer?” I mean strange, odd, different. And, most especially, transgressive and possibly shocking. Something that feels at odds with the rest of both mainstream heterosexual and mainstream gay culture. I’m talking about  films by directors such as Derek Jarman, Rainer Werner Fassbinder and Kenneth Anger; or the earlier efforts by guys still working in the business today: Gregg Araki, Gus Van Sant and John Waters. But, if contemporary LGBTI film festivals are any indicator, these transgressive punks of cinema have been replaced by a new wave of gay filmmaking. Films aimed at gay audiences but with commercial sensibilities, filled with contrived plots and lazy characterizations – like Eating Out (2004) or Another Gay Movie (2006).Blue-is-the-Warmest-Color

Palme d’Or-winning Blue is the Warmest Colour (2013) was a welcome addition to the gay film canon, but it wasn’t queer in the truest sense. It was encumbered by – a term I generally avoid – the “straight male gaze.” A film etched in class differences more so than concerns of queer expression, though it was undoubtedly a film with queer content: romantic and erotic female relationships, explicit lesbian sex scenes, and the questioning of one’s sexual orientation. At the end of the day, director Abdellatif Kechiche made a beautiful film, arguably great even, but it is a film in the vein of (but much better than) Brokeback Mountain (2005) – successful in intention and execution, but aimed at a non-queer audience. They are studies of characters with an ambivalence towards their sexuality rather than a celebration of it.

malanoche (1)

In Gus Van Sant’s debut feature film, Mala Noche (1986), we meet Walt, a gay store clerk. He falls in love – sudden, unrequited, obsessive love – with a boyish Mexican immigrant. At one point he even declares, “I have to show him that I’m gay for him.” Gay. Gay. Gay. This film is very gay. It’s not the sort of politically-charged work Van Sant’s later, but still successful, Milk (2008) is, with big stars and big locations. It’s free from the shackles and burdens of money, as well as its obvious benefits. It’s the work of a young gay director attempting to share something intimate. It is queerness personified, unfettered by any studio system or mainstream accolades.

in the  family

That is not to say that contemporary cinema lacks radical queer filmmaking. Andrew Haigh’s Weekend (2011), Apichatpong Weerasethakul’s Tropical Malady (2004) and Patrick Wang’s In the Family (2011) are all striking examples of queer films made within the last decade that feel unapologetic and radical in their own ways. Weekend for its unabashedly gay riff on David Lean’s Brief Encounter and authentic male-on-male sex; Tropical Malady for its unrelenting elliptical take on homosexual desire through surprising narrative structure; and In the Family for its endlessly empathetic depiction of the domestic drama from an outsider’s perspective.

Maybe it is the growing acceptance of the gay community in most of modern society that is the very cause for queer cinema’s lack of queerness. There is no desire to fight for something the community believes they have won. No longer do filmmakers want to offend the heterosexual sensibilities of others – or the heterosexual sensibilities they themselves have adopted. I’m personally not quite ready for queer cinema to assimilate and lose itself to cheesy rom-com sentiments or mainstream-arthouse sensibilities. There is always something to rebel against. Now we just need to find it.